Today I saw a pigeon with a deformed foot. It hopped around the concrete with one claw curled grotesquely into its body, pecking at the sidewalk cracks for unseen crumbs. While I waited for the bus, I imagined how terrible it would be if my own foot was as useless. I tore a hunk of my gingerbread, an indulgence after a particularly terrible interview, and threw it to the bird. It had been another shitty day, another day that left me tired of existing. This lame pigeon was my own pathetic kindred spirit. He devoured it and I tossed another. I watched anxiously as my acts of charity slowly attracted more scavengers.
The 36 screeched to a stop, scaring the pigeons into flight, scattering them all into the sky. Even my own pitiful pigeon. I forgot that it had wings.
Nov 15
I’m afraid of the day when you finally realize what I know.
"The word “hope” come from the English “hoppe,” which we think of as “hop,” a small jump. Hope is an existential leap. It is engagement with life."
- Michael Mahoney, “Their Finest Hour”
Feb 2Jan 10
What a fool I am.
"you’re awesome
you’re pretty
you’re smart
you make the world a better place"
Jan 7
There are times when I just feel so full of life that I want to explode. Explode and dance horribly to wonderful songs :)
Jan 5
She was a coward who slept in the arms of a boy who did not love her. Her ear to his chest, she could feel the dull thud of unwelcome truth. Not you. Not you. I beat not for you. His arm draped around her back weighed her. It lay heavy in its implications but empty in true intent. She cautiously untangled herself from him and rolled over onto her back- trying her best not to interrupt his slow embark into slumber. With wetted eyes, she traced the familiar criss crosses of light across his shadowed ceiling and willed herself to think empty thoughts and feel empty feelings.
